It’s Saturday, and I’m single. And job searching. I had an interview today, and another set for Monday. It’s a bit premature (and probably unprofessional) to speak about either one of them specifically, but the experience has definitely gotten me to think about what I’ve gained and what I’ve lost through the process of marriage, motherhood and impeding divorce. To put it simply, I feel as if I’m starting over from scratch.
It has been almost nine years since I’ve worked in a full time position, and four years since I left my last part-time position. Being self-employed has afforded me a great deal of autonomy, but now that our once-nuclear family has two sets of household bills, my modest freelance income isn’t enough to be sustainable, at least not during this season of my life. We can live on very little, but I’d like to be able to save. I’d like to be prepared for an emergency. I’d like to be able to keep up with the rising cost of gasoline, food, and utilities. I’d like to take the kids for ice cream without penny pinching. It would also be nice to have a tad more financial security each month, especially during a time when I feel so much emotional insecurity.
Being single on Saturday means putting on my big girl pants and being willing to do something different to provide for my family. It means taking one baby step at a time toward becoming financially self-supporting, because one step is all I can manage right now. Even if it means starting at the bottom and working my way back up to the confident career woman I once was. Or at least, I think I was. I’m not ready for full blown full time. I’m ready for the next baby step.
Being single on Saturday means being grateful for any opportunity that comes my way, however small or insignificant it may appear to others. My experience has taught me that one thing can lead to another, and that when God closes a door, He opens a window.
Being single on Saturday means I can let my dreams and passions guide me. I don’t have to answer to anyone but myself and God when it comes to my career path. I know of many successful people who had to start over because of divorce, death, disease, bankruptcy, unemployment. I may have lost some momentum and the force of inertia due to my choices to marry, stay at home with my children, pursue freelancing. I don’t regret those choices either. But being single on Saturday means I can have the courage to take new steps. The challenge is not to skip ahead to Sunday, or Monday, or next month, or next year. I’ll let next Saturday wait for me.