Holey Heart

In Vain

Republished from Sept. 3, 2011

I spent quite a bit of time over the holiday weekend writing a much-overdue scripture reflection. I’d been meditating on it for a week, opening my eyes and ears to the voice of God to guide me, and I was not disappointed. Everywhere I was seeing messages from Him: in my daily readers, in the songs on the radio, in the quotes that friends posted on Facebook, in my pastor’s sermon, and even in the tiny frog that greeted on my door frame when I got home last night.

Last night I was half-done with a fantastic treatise on the nature of sin and my utter powerlessness over it, with the wonderful final conclusion being the only way to fight sin is to refuse to fight, to turn the other cheek and face God with both our light and our darkness.

As if to prove the point to me, when I came back to finish up my writing this evening, I found that everything I’d written was gone.

I was more powerless than I thought.

I’d love to go back and try to recreate what I created. I’d love to reconstruct each carefully crafted paragraph. And maybe one day I will. Tonight, I am humbled by yet another lesson learned the hard way.

The lesson is this: I must allow God to work in me, or the work won’t last. Doing it alone won’t work.

Unless I “Fully Rely On God,” my efforts, however valiant, will be in vain.



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