Should old acquaintance be forgot?
I have always loved Dan Fogelburg’s song Same Auld Lang Syne, even when I was a little girl and had no idea what it was about. Call it foreshadowing.
I’m still not sure what “auld lang syne” means. But I have learned a thing or two about holding on to the memories of a lost lover – and finding closure.
One such lover used to say he didn’t believe in closure, only “deeper levels of acceptance.” I would just use that as an excuse to nurse “that old familiar pain.” I believe there comes a time when I get to the bottom of that champagne glass and dump the last sip or two down the sink, because it’s flat and warm, and I never liked champagne to begin with.
I have friendships with most of my old lovers. With some of them I engage in good-natured political and theological battles on Facebook, ever grateful that we are ex’s and ever grateful that I still get to enjoy my favorite parts of who they are – from a distance. Other ex’s I’ve reconnected with but don’t communicate with much because the past is the past and it’s enough to know that the old familiar pain is forgiven and released. The few with whom I have no contact are best left that way. But even in those cases, God has brought some of them back into my life by chance meeting as an opportunity for me to get closure.
Closure looks a lot like forgiving ourselves for being young and all that goes with it. We drink a toast to innocence, we drink a toast to now and how far we’ve come. I find that elusive balance of not regretting the past nor wishing to shut the door on it. It is enough to look through that open door and be grateful I never have to go to that place with him again.
Should old acquaintance be forgot? No. Just that old familiar pain. To that, I say goodbye.